Big
Boss: This year your performance was good, excellent and outstanding. So, your
rating is "average".
Ramesh:
What? How come 'average'?
Big
Boss: Because...err...uhh...you lack domain knowledge.
Ramesh:
But last year you said I am a domain expert and you put me in this project as a
domain consultant.
Big
Boss: Oh is it? Well, in that case, I think your domain knowledge has eroded
this year.
Ramesh:
What???
Big
Boss: Yes, I didn't see you sharing knowledge on Purchasing domain.
Ramesh:
Why would I? Because I am not in Purchasing, I am in Manufacturing.
Big
Boss: This is what I don't like about you. You give excuse for everything.
Ramesh:
Huh? *Confused*
Big
Boss: Next, you need to improve your communication skills.
Ramesh:
Like what? I am the one who trained the team on "Business
Communication", you sat in the audience and took notes, you remember?
Big
Boss: Oh is it? Errr...well..I mean, you need to improve your Social Pragmatic
Affirmative Communication.
Ramesh:
Huh? What the hell is that? *Confused*
Big
Boss: See! That's why you need to learn about it.
Ramesh:
*head spinning*
Big
Boss: Next, you need to sharpen your recruiting skills. All the guys you
recruited left within 2 months.
Ramesh:
Well, not my mistake. You told them you will sit beside them and review their
code, and most resigned the next day itself. Couple of them even attempted suicide.
Big
Boss:*stunned* (recovers from shock) Err...anyway, I tried to give you a better
rating, but our Normalization process gave you only 'average'.
Ramesh:
Last year that process gave me 'excellent'. This year just 'average'? Why is
this process pushing me up and down every year?
Big
Boss: That's a complicated process. You don't want to hear.
Ramesh:
I'll try to understand. Go ahead.
Big
Boss: Well, we gather in a large room, write down the names of sub-ordinates in
bits of paper, and throw them up in the air. Whichever lands on the floor gets
'average', whichever lands on table gets 'good', whichever we manage to catch
gets 'excellent' and whichever gets stuck to ceiling gets 'outstanding'.
Ramesh:
(eyes popping out) What? Ridiculous! So who gets 'poor' rating?
Big
Boss: Those are the ones we forget to write down.
Ramesh:
What the hell! And how can paper bits stick to ceiling for 'outstanding'?
Big
Boss: Oh no, now you have started questioning our 20 year old organizational
process!
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