Desi Mom :)

A   Mom comes to visit her son Kunal for dinner.....who lives with a girl roommate Sunita.

During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty Kunal's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Kunal and his roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, Kunal volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Sunita and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Sunita came to Kunal saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver chutney jar. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" Kunal said ,"Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just to be sure."

So he sat down and wrote:

Dear Mother,

I'm not saying that you 'did' take the chutney jar from my house, I'm not saying that you 'did not' take the chutney jar. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.

Love,
Kunal

Several days later, Kunal received an email from his Mother which read

Dear Son,
I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Sunita, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Sunita. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the chutney jar by now under the pillow...

Love,
Mom.

Software Testing

Software Testing - A good read….not intended against any group as such, but still entertaining ... read on ...

A university scholar, Mr. John Smith approaches his friend a software-testing guru telling him that he has a Bachelor in programming, and now would like to learn the software testing to complete his knowledge and to find a job as a software tester. After summing him up for a few minutes, the software-testing guru told him "I seriously doubt that you are ready to study software testing. It's the serious topic. If you wish however I am willing to examine you in logic, and if you pass the test I will help teach you software testing. "
 
The young man agrees.
Software testing guru holds up two fingers "Two men come down a chimney. One comes with a clean face and the other comes out with a dirty face. Which one washes his face?
 
The young man stares at the software-testing guru. "Is that a test in Logic?" software testing guru nods.
"The one with the dirty face washes his face," He answers wearily.
 
"Wrong. The one with the clean face washes his face. Examine the simple logic. The one with the dirty face looks at the one with the clean face and thinks his face is clean. The one with the clean face looks at the one with the dirty face and thinks his face is dirty. So; the one with the clean face washes his face."
 
"Very clever" Says Smith.  "Give me another test"
 
The software-testing guru again holds up two fingers "Two men come down a chimney.One comes out with a clean face and the other comes out with a dirty face. Which one washes his face?
 
"We have already established that. The one with the clean face washes his face"
 
"Wrong. Each one washes his face. Examine the simple logic. The one with the dirty face looks at the one with the clean face and thinks his face is clean. The one with the clean face looks at the one with the dirty face and thinks his face is dirty. So; the one with the clean face washes his face. When the one with the dirty face sees the one with the clean face washing his face, he also washes his face. So each one washes his face"
 
"I didn't think of that!" Says Smith. " It's shocking to me that I could make an error in logic. Test me again!."
 
The software-testing guru holds up two fingers "Two men come down a chimney.One comes out with a clean face and the other comes out with a dirty face. Which one washes his face?
 
"Each one washes his face"
 
"Wrong. Neither one washes his face. Examine the simple logic. The one with the dirty face looks at the one with the clean face and thinks his face is clean. The one with the clean face looks at the one with the dirty face and thinks his face is dirty. But when the one with clean face sees that the one with the dirty face doesn't wash his face, he also doesn't wash his face So neither one washes his face".
 
Smith is desperate. "I am qualified to study software testing. Please give me one more test"
 
He groans when the software-testing guru lifts his two fingers, "Two men come down a chimney. One comes out with a clean face and the other comes out with a dirty face. Which one washes his face?
 
"Neither one washes his face"
 
"Wrong. Do you now see, John, why programming knowledge is an insufficient basis for studying the software testing? Tell me, how is it possible for two men to come down the same chimney, and for one to come out with a clean face and the other with a dirty face? Don’t you see?
 

Moral : Whatever a programmer do, Testers are supposed to find bugs and they will.

The Pig And The Horse

There was a farmer who collected horses; he only needed one more breed
to complete his collection. One day, he found out that his neighbor
had the particular horse breed he needed. So, he constantly bothered
his neighbor until he sold it to him. A month later, the horse became
ill and he called the veterinarian, who said:
- Well, your horse has a virus. He must take this medicine for three
days. I'll come back on the 3rd day and if he's not better, we're
going to have to put him down.
Nearby, the pig listened closely to their conversation.
The next day, they gave him the medicine and left. The pig approached
the horse and said:
- Be strong, my friend. Get up or else they're going to put you to sleep!
On the second day, they gave him the medicine and left. The pig came
back and said:
- Come on buddy, get up or else you're going to die! Come on, I'll
help you get up. Let's go! One, two, three...
On the third day, they came to give him the medicine and the vet said:
- Unfortunately, we're going to have to put him down tomorrow.
Otherwise, the virus might spread and infect the other horses.
After they left, the pig approached the horse and said:
- Listen pal, it's now or never! Get up, come on! Have courage! Come
on! Get up! Get up! That's it, slowly! Great! Come on, one, two,
three... Good, good. Now faster, come on.... Fantastic! Run, run more!
Yes! Yay! Yes! You did it, you're a champion!!!
All of a sudden, the owner came back, saw the horse running in the
field and began shouting:
- It's a miracle! My horse is cured. This deserves a party. Let's kill the pig!

Points for reflection: this often happens in the workplace. Nobody truly knows which employee actually deserves the merit of success, or who's actually contributing the necessary support to make things happen.
LEARNING TO LIVE WITHOUT RECOGNITION IS A SKILL!
If anyone ever tells you that your work is unprofessional, remember:
amateurs built the Ark and professionals built the Titanic.

DON'T LOOK TO BECOME A PERSON OF SUCCESS, LOOK INSTEAD TO BECOME A
PERSON OF VALUE!

-- From my Junior's Buzz

Philosophy of Life

"Not very long." they answered in unison.
"Why didn't you stay out longer and catch more?"
 The fishermen explained that their small catches were sufficient to meet their needs and those of their families.
"But what do you do with the rest of your time?"
"We sleep late, fish a little, play with our children, and take siestas with our wives.
In the evenings, we go into the village to see our friends, have a few drinks, play the guitar, and sing a few songs.
 We have a full life."
The tourist interrupted,
 "I have an MBA from Harvard and I can help you!
You should start by fishing longer every day.
You can then sell the extra fish you catch.
With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger boat."
 "And after that?"
 "With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second one and a third one and so on until you have an entire fleet of trawlers.
Instead of selling your fish to a middle man, you can then negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your own plant.
 You can then leave this little village and move to Mexico City, Los Angeles, or even New York City!
 From there you can direct your huge new enterprise."
 "How long would that take?"
 "Twenty, perhaps twenty-five years." replied the tourist.
 "And after that?"
 "Afterwards? Well my friend, that's when it gets really interesting, " answered the tourist, laughing. "When your business gets really big, you can start buying and selling stocks and make millions!"  
 "Millions? Really? And after that?" asked the fishermen.
 "After that you'll be able to retire,
live in a tiny village near the coast,
Sleep late, play with your children,
Catch a few fish, take a siesta with your wife
And spend your evenings drinking and enjoying your friends."
 "With all due respect sir, but that's exactly what we are doing now. So what's the point wasting twenty-five years?" asked the Mexicans.

And the moral of this story is:
Know where you're going in life. You may already be there!  

The Tailor's Needle

A tailor was at work. He took a piece of cloth and with a pair of shining, costly, scissors, he cut the cloth into various bits.
Then he put the pair of scissors at his feet. Then he took a small needle and thread and started to sew the bits of cloth, into a fine shirt. When the spell of sewing was over, he stuck the needle on to his turban.
The tailor's son who was watching it asked him: "Father, the scissors are costly and look so beautiful. But you throw them down at your feet. This needle is worth almost nothing; you can get a dozen for an Anna. Yet, you place it carefully on your head itself. Is there any reason for this illogical behavior?"
"Yes, my son. The scissors have their function, no doubt; but they only cut the cloth into bits. The needle, on the contrary, unites the bits and enhances the value of the cloth. Therefore, the needle to me is more precious and valuable. The value of a thing depends on its utility, son, not on its cost-price or appearance."
Similarly, there are two classes of people in the world-those who create dissensions and disharmony, who separate man from man; and those who bring about peace and harmony, who unite people.
The former are generally the rich people, powerful politicians and kings; the latter are generally the poor devotees of God, the penniless wandering monks, and mendicants. The Lord makes use of both to carry on his function of providing the field for the evolution of individual souls. He throws down on the dust the mighty kings and millionaires who create wars and disharmony; and He keeps the poor, pious devotee over His own head. In His eyes the scale of values is entirely different!